“They talk too damn much about themselves.”
“Just wait for them to get caught up and lose, then point it out. 99% of the time they’ll implode in a showery fit of anger. At that point you never talk to them again or even respond.”
“Watch how they treat and talk about others behind their back. If they do this to other people, then they most likely talk about you behind your back as well.”
“Gift of Fear” is a great book…should be required reading. Practical examples and advice on how to spot manipulative and dangerous people, how to respond, and most importantly how to protect yourself.
“Manipulative people are ALWAYS motivated by the prospect of ‘winning’ a social interaction.”
“I saw a post that someone else made the other day about a book called the Gift of Fear, and there was some good stuff in there about recognizing crappy people. I read this book once and it had some good info, but this part always stuck out to me:
Forced Teaming. This is when a person implies that he has something in common with his chosen victim, acting as if they have a shared predicament when that isn’t really true. Speaking is “we” terms is a mark of this, i.e. “We don’t need to talk outside… Let’s go in.”
Charm and Niceness. This is being polite and friendly to a chosen victim in order to manipulate him or her by disarming their mistrust.
Too many details. If a person is lying they will add excessive details to make themselves sound more credible to their chosen victim.
Typecasting. An insult is used to get a chosen victim who would otherwise ignore one to engage in conversation to counteract the insult. For example: “Oh, I bet you’re too stuck-up to talk to a guy like me.” The tendency is for the chosen victim to want to prove the insult untrue.
Loan Sharking. Giving unsolicited help to the chosen victim and anticipating they’ll feel obliged to extend some reciprocal openness in return.
The Unsolicited Promise. A promise to do (or not do) something when no such promise is asked for; this usually means that such a promise will be broken. For example: an unsolicited, “I promise I’ll leave you alone after this,” usually means the chosen victim will not be left alone. Similarly, an unsolicited “I promise I won’t hurt you” usually means the person intends to hurt their chosen victim.
Discounting the Word “No”. Refusing to accept rejection.The techniques listed above are all good ways to manipulate others, so if you see any of the behaviors listed directed against you or someone you know then you should be on guard.”
“Make them do most of the talking. Don’t give them anything that they can turn against you.”